Is it weird to be single in your 30s? How does dating in your 30s look? These questions pop out very often if you are a male or female in your thirties. Your Facebook feed is full of recommendations on how to find love and settle down. Your relatives are setting you up with their friends and try to save you from the hardships of loneliness as they call it. However, is it that bad to be just dating in your 30s?
When you graduate from college, you get a lot of decisions to make. Some people move to the other location for work, and some have to go back to their hometown and settle there. However, the main focus at this time is your life and comfort. Not many people have time to start a thorough search of a partner. The best option is to date and see where it takes you. So, dating in your 30s is going to bring you a lot of fun and adventures. It is full of funny situations, first dates, romantic dinners, and trips together. It is not only about settling down but also about hooking up and one-night stands. In your 30s, it is not a shame to do whatever you want to do since you are an adult, and you are in charge of your destiny. Whether you want it or not, you will be meeting people, and you have to have your strategy of dating and your view of relationships at this point.
Meaning of Dating in your 30s
The most popular dating in your 30s meme is the guy’s photo with the whiskey bottle on the New Year’s Eve and a couple kissing. This is how society sees people who are single in this age. The stereotype about females is usually represented by the female being a bridesmaid and refusing to catch the bouquet at the friend’s wedding. It all symbolizes the lack of desire to settle down into a long-term relationship and marriage. Is that true, though? Not all people in our time want to have the wedding ceremony and do not see marriage as a necessity. Since the modern generation is changing, family values things like white dress and bridesmaids become old-fashioned. It is normal to start dating in your 40s as a man. It is especially true for men. It takes time to be financially able to support a family, and many people opt for becoming wealthy enough first and starting a family later. On the other side, there is a category of people who prefer to be child-free and never prioritize family values. Dating for such people is not the same as for those looking to have children.
A person who does not want marriage and traditional values can date for ages and be okay with that. If a woman is career-oriented and has many goals in life, dating for her is a way to satisfy the physical and emotional needs. Human beings are social creatures, and they want the company. Everyone wants the company for different reasons. For example, the dating pool in your 40s is different from the one in the 20s. When people reach their 40s, they, in many cases, already had their hearts broken, and maybe even had families. The goal of dating for such people is to find genuine understanding and moral support, share common interests, and spend good-quality times together. Unlike the 20s dating pool members who look for marriage, hookups, and emotionally intense relationships. There is no doubt that the younger generation is more confused about the intentions of dating than those in their 30s and 40s.
Pros and Cons of dating in your 30s
Dating in your 30s must have a lot of benefits. However, the drawbacks will be numerous as well. First of all, think about the category of people you want to date. What category is closer to your needs? What to expect from dating in your 40s as a man? What to expect if you are a woman of that age? People of the 30s and 40s are very similar. However, most of them, especially men, want to go back to their youth, so they go for dating people in their 20s. So, what are the positive and negative aspects of dating when you are in your 30s?
A lot of free time to devote to yourself. When you are 30+, you have a job already. So, you know how to manage your time, you can dedicate it to self-development, rest, sports, or anything you wish. You can stay on your sofa all day or go on a date and party all night. You are in control of your time, and it is a very precious thing. People with commitment have less time to themselves because they have to satisfy the partner’s needs regularly.
You know what you want already, and it is easier to filter the people you do not want to have around you. After some dating experience in high school, college, you start seeing a person’s bad features from miles away. You observe your friends’ relationships and have some personal experiences, and in the future, you can see the toxic relationship coming your way. You are not that easily blinded by butterflies in your stomach anymore, so fooling you is not easy.
You know yourself. Unlike 20-year-olds, you have an occupation, work experience, friendship circle, and worldview. By the time you reach your 30s, you are a pretty complete individual, and you do not feel lost in life. It greatly influences your relationships with others. You become more interesting as a person, and you attract people.
You are independent. One of the bonuses of being older and not a student is that you are in charge of your time. You can change your plans any minute because you do not depend on anyone. Your time belongs to you, and you can make choices on how to spend it. If you want to take a day off because there is a hot date, go ahead and do it. If the partner does not satisfy your needs, you can say it and end the relationships because you are independent and don’t have to suffer.
It is harder to settle for what is coming your way. If you see that a person is okay for you, but there is no spark, you can easily turn down the offer of a relationship without giving it a chance. The more self-sufficient you are, the fewer chances there are for you to settle down. As practice shows, people tend to resort to relationships when they feel less confident about life and want a partner. It is what they call a ‘second half.’ Not all people need it, but some feel like they are incomplete and for them, settling down is easier.
Your friends with families do not support you that often. Have you noticed how your friends with families do more and more activities that exclude single people? Family barbeque where people come with kids is not interesting for you. Nobody is drinking or joking, everyone is talking about their family routine, and you feel left out. The conversation is not interesting for you; you have nothing to share and do not want to be judged for saying the wrong thing. It is a way friends drift apart.
It is harder to make new friends. When your friends create families and move away, you are left alone. It is not easy to start a new friendship with someone, especially if you are looking for someone single. Friendship takes time since you need trust to be built.
You question the partner and have more requirements for them. Dating in your 30s is demanding. You achieved certain things in life, and you are proud of yourself. Meeting a person who has less or does not have the ambition is frustrating. You are unwilling to believe in the potential since you have been working hard to get where you are now. As a result, you risk losing that relationship. The search for a partner becomes more complicated.
Dating in your 30s Tips and Advices
Dating in your 30s is fun. Believe it or not, but it has a lot of interesting challenges and perks. If you are hesitating about starting your dating journey now, think about dating in your 40s and what to expect from that? First of all, being single at any age is normal. Dating rules have changed, and you are normal if you decide to be single over being in a relationship that does not satisfy you. There is no reason, though, to avoid dating. It is not a must to have a stable and committed relationship. It is not even about having regular sexual relationships with anyone. You are free to meet up with people for any reason. Find a date to go to the museum with or to a crazy BDSM party, have a partner for your dancing classes, etc. There are many reasons to go dating in your 30s and enjoy it. Here are a couple of recommendations that might help you put yourself in the right mood:
Find dating apps popular in your area and set up your profiles. Why bother going out to places that might have some guys/girls to meet if you can register and join the dating pool? Get a profile on the dating site and enjoy the dates as long as you want. Pick the one with the large membership pool, and you will not have time for a break. It is especially useful for people who have a lot of business trips. Download some apps, move around the country or even countries, and meet new people simultaneously. You never know where your destiny is.
Work on your dating profile. You are not a careless teenager anymore. When you select a partner for yourself, you want to see a good photo, describing the occupation, hobbies, interests, and intentions. If you are on the site to find a hookup, you do not want to disappoint the desperate person to find a marriage partner. So, be kind to others.
Be confident but do not intimidate the partner. If you think you achieved a lot in life, it does not mean that others are just losers. People might not want to share their full history of life with you immediately. Be careful about overstepping the line between confidence and bragging, and being confident means you can text first, ask out, and also be open about your desires.
Be honest about your attitude to relationships. If you are an avid supporter of marriage and you want to have a traditional religious wedding and five children, be open about it right away. You cannot change the partner’s opinion on these things, and you risk being disappointed and heartbroken. It is a mistake to expect a person to change because of you. If the man/woman was always against having children or being religious, there are almost zero chances of doing it your way painlessly.
Share your rules of dating and do not expect the person to know them. Every person has some vision of relationships and dating. The most popular rule is about which date you are supposed to have sex. It is one of the most popular and most abused rules you can ever hear about. Every person seems to interpret it their way. You can find the books written on the topic of doing it on the third, fifth, or first date. So, do not expect your partner to be on the same page with you by default. Talk about it to avoid that awkward moment, especially if you are dating in your 40s as a man.
Who will join Dating in your 30s Online
What is the dating pool in your 40s and 30s comprised of? It is a tricky question. There will be a lot of factors that influence it. If we talk about real-time dating, it will largely depend on your community and the geographical location. A better solution for dating in your 30s is a dating platform. Since the local pool might be restricted to people who live in your area, you need to use dating sites to have more choices. With the dating platforms, your options are unlimited. You are free to look for dating someone who is of the same occupation as you are. For that, find the website with professionals looking for dates. You are free to register with any niche website that you can think of (dating for farmers, dating for gay, dating for swingers, etc.). The sky is the limit when it comes to the selection of the dating platform. To describe the categories of people you will see on the platforms, and we will generalize their characteristics and divide them into categories:
Single males/females in their thirties who have never been married before. These will be most likely career-driven professionals who had no time to settle down and now ended up single ready to find a new adventure. Their intentions vary and can be anything from a hookup to a long-term thing.
Divorced. These can be males/females with the previous experience of having either a long relationship or marriage that ended for different reasons. They are on the new page of life, starting from scratch. The danger is the previous pains they experienced. They might see something in you that resembles the previous partner and be afraid of getting into another relationship. On the other hand, these people are often looking for casual dates and one-night stands. They are fed up with the commitment and want pure fun. Take that into account when looking for a partner to go to a party with.
45+ age category. The membership pool of people in their 30s is an attractive object for older individuals who want to settle down. Hence, you can see many profiles of well-off people in life, with certain life experiences, looking for a male/female in their 30s to have a calm life with. It is not a bad option if you feel like settling down, but children and traditional family values are not your things.
Regardless of the category, you are looking for, and the dating platform is the best solution. It is recommended to get accounts on a couple of platforms that belong to different owners and have separate membership pools. In that way, you get to see all the fish in the ocean. Without looking through the profiles, you will not understand what your options are. Remember that you do not have to settle for the partner if something does not feel right.
Dating in your 30s is an awesome experience. It is different from the times when you are young and naive. It is more mature and brings you a lot more pleasure. In your 30s, you know what to ask for and how to get it. Your intuition is developed, and your previous experiences do not let you make the wrong choices. Even if you have some frustrations, they do not feel as bad as it was before. The main key to dating in your 30s is understanding and accepting yourself. If you do not accept your needs, the search for a partner will be much more complicated. By the age of 30, you have your social skills mastered and your worldview formed. It is a great time to meet new people, be single, and go out on dates. Regardless of your age, dating is always exciting, whether in the dating pool in your 40s, 30s, or 50s. So, wait no more to create your profile on the dating site, and clear your calendar for the upcoming dates.
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